fun fact: you don’t cure depression by telling me i have nothing to be sad about
another fun fact: you dont cure anxiety by just getting up and doing whatever it is that makes you anxious
shout out to thorin oakenshield for getting lost in the shire not once, but twice
too majestic to ask for directions
Even the ring wraiths asked for directions.
I wanted to tell you that I was always alone,
and that I am always told to step out of my head and start a conversation “for God’s sake.”
But I never wanted to talk to anyone, because no one ever holds conversations in the way novels are written, and trees never have much to say. I guess lying in the grass during warm months isn’t going to help me grow.
I am alone because conversations are embarrassing. Why can the words form in my head but not in my mouth? I am alone.
On a road trip with my father, where the car ride was silent for five hours straight, we parked at a resting spot. And when I was sitting at a table by myself, locking eyes with people who were distancing themselves as well as me, an older lady came up to me and asked, “Darling, are you alone?” I responded with a, “No, I am waiting for my father,” because truthfully, I was waiting for him. But it wouldn’t have made a difference, if my father was there or not, if she had sat down and kept me company until he returned, if I was not waiting for anyone at all. Because I was alone. In the center of myself I was alone. Always.